LEVI AS A WALMART GREETER THO
IMAGINE A SHORT, ANGRY LITTLE MAN SAYING
"welcome to walmart. get your shit and get out.”
(line © jeff dunham)
Remember when the greeters used to hand out smiley face stickers to children? Could you imagine him, like, giving the stickers to the little kiddies and being all, “Have a happy day”?
Then comes along little bratty pants Eren, and when he gets his sticker, he peels it off and sticks it right on Levi’s backside.
when eren’s 6 years old, he accepts the stickers from levi with a huge smile.
when eren’s 8 years old, he peels off the stickers and sticks them on levi’s back, because it’s funny.
when eren’s 10 years old, he asks where all the stickers go, and levi tells him, “i ran out of happiness.”
*puts on lifejacket* i am ready for intercourse
(my body materializes out of the darkness) fuck that was sick. did I look cool dont lie dude.
I am doing my best to make this email sound adult. I have rewritten it sixteen, wait… seventeen, times. I am requesting assistance.
this belongs in a musuem
Fun Fact: The average person would walk past a murderer about 36 times in their lifetime.I like how this is called a ‘fun’ fact.
It’s fun because they didn’t decide to murder you.
why do u need a quality blog when u can have a quality log
Hi, I’m Barbie ™ - Vine by Sarah Mangone
bringing this back because duh
why do people say “don’t be a pussy” when talking about weakness more like “don’t be a man’s ego” because you know there isn’t nothing more fragile than that
because “pussy” is the shortened form of the word “pusillanimous”, which means “timid, cowardly”
and not the slang word for the female genital region?
literally no one else knows this. nobody.
Fact: Pansexuals bleed pure liquid gold.